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What does Mary do all day?
She has no idea. And she is writing about herself in the 3rd person. I was going to run away and hide today, because Tim The Flatmate is bringing the real estate agent around to value the house. He's thinking of buying it, which is trippy. I don't think of people [approximately] my age actually buying houses. But that makes Dave [has one], Claire and Mark [are saving] and Tim The Flatmate. So that's weird.

Anyway, I was going to go and hide in the library [or somewhere], but it's raining and my jeans are in the wash, so I'm wearing trackies and not going anywhere. Why did i not do anything useful yesterday when it was lovely? I've got to do two loads of washing [lights and darks. God. I'm such an old lady.] and now i have to put them in the dryer, dammit. [dryer. drier. who knows?] there goes the old electricity bill.

I just want to get an application form for this teachnz scholarship, but will the page load? nooo...stupid thing. it's not even at the damn address they give. Yes, it's teachnz.govt.nz...but will it load? No....will it load when you go to www.2teach.govt.nz? Yes. What the hell is up with that? is it just my computer, or is the site screwy?

Okay, and now Internet Explorer is randomly loading itself. Odd.
Well, I will go and attempt [with emphasis on the attempt, nothing is working properly today. except my cd player. good ol' Aerosmith.] to download an application for an academic transcript.

and while i am attempting to do so, i will continue to ramble. i have no patience.
you know, i don't know how people with breast implants manage. wouldn't you get a sore back from always being so...uplifted? it's a wonderbra day for me today [god knows why i have one, it's not like it's necessary], it's only been about 3 hours and my back hurts. This is what happens when you leave your laundry to the last possible occasion.

and here comes the transcript application form. Now to go do battle with teachnz. Or 2teach, as the case may be. Oh, so NOW teachnz will load. It just doesn't like me.

Man, I best get this scholarship. It's costing me ten bucks to get a transcript. And here comes the application form for the schol.

Ooh, it's actually printing quite clearly. Amazing, since i only have black and white and it's colour...and its colour is medium brown on dark yellow...

Well, I will go and do some filling in. And restart the washing machine. Nothing works around here.

And have some lunch. Or some breakfast, as the case may be. Must. Go. Shopping. Am down to.....very very little.

So'oialo. I knew I'd remember.
In a short update on All-Blacks-who-share-people's-birthdays:
Carl Hayman's is the same as Jess', and Norm Maxwell's is the same as Claire's.

I know, I'm sad. Leave me alone. I have to do something with my time. I feel so unemployed.

Richie McCaw's is the same as Rory J's. [Remember him? I only remember his birthday cos it's two days after The Crotch's.]

Anton Oliver's only 29? I thought he was older. Now there is an ugly man, she says superficially.

Oh, look at that! Greg Somerville's birthday's the same as mine. He looks like such a nice person too. He reminds me off my brother's mate. [Because I've met him and everything. Well, I've met my brother's mate. But not Greg Somerville.]

Dan Carter's is the same as Claire's. Popular day, that.

Conrad Smith doesn't share anyone's birthday, but my god he's got some bad hair going on there.

And now I am done.

Mary's Wednesday of Sport.
It's a lovely day outside, the sun is shining, the birds are singing [at least they might be, at the moment Alice in Chains is a bit loud to tell. If I would, would you? Is that Alice in Chains? Would get up and check, but it's really not important.], and I am inside, writing a blog about sport.
Why, you ask?
a) if i go outside, i will get sunburnt. i am already sunburnt, and i would prefer not to die of melanoma.
b) i left my sunglasses in raglan, because i am a bright spark.
c) there is nothing to do outside. my flat has no section, i have nothing to read, i cannot knit, there is no one to talk to, and if i go to sleep in the sun i will get sunstroke.
d) i have a job interview on friday at a sporting promotions place and i feel it would be wise to know something on the subject.
e) i just want to.
and now. on to the sport.

[god. my monitor just went black. freaky.]

In sport this week:

• The Hunters [Victoria Cricket Club Women's Super 8's Section 2. Trying saying that with a mouthful of weetbix] won their game against Upper Hutt B, at Melrose. Mary's contribution to this was 3 wides, and 3 misfields.
• The Black Caps [which the more i think about it is a stupid name for a team, but never mind. is an improvement on the Young Guns. .:shudder:.] lost to Australia. Badly. And Mary would have cried, if the middle order hadn't made it slightly less painful. At least we made it to the fifth day. Thank you, boys. Incidentally, my flatmate used to play cricket against McCullum. He says he's cocky.
• The AB's won against France, as I may have mentioned. Actually, I don't think I have. Well, they trod the Tricouleurs into the ground. At least, they would have if I could remember how to spell couleur? colouer? fuck. I took french for how long and i can't spell a simple word. i think it's couleur. maybe.
• Anyway, they won. Byron Kelleher scored a try, and Mary jumped up and down. Go the Waikato. Marty Holah was commentating. He said more than Jono Gibbes did last week, but still wasn't exactly talkative. I would hate to be a commentator, personally. It's all about the "and he's got the legs for it." and the "that's a beautiful riposte from the All Blacks" and the "and the Rocketman zooms in for another one" and the "this is a set phrase which is corny" . It's brilliant, actually. I love rugby commentators.
• Daniel Carter scored a try. It amuses me that he ALWAYS looks like he's posing, even when he's not. Or is he...?
• Some other people scored tries. Rodney [last name temporarily escapes me], some other people. I was actually paying attention at the time.
• Next week, Justin Marshall is captaining the Baabaas, and Aaron Mauger the AB's, I think. So I think I will not watch, due to a) not caring enough about the Barbarians, and b) having random irrational dislike for a) Justin Marshall and b) Aaron Mauger. Also will be having visitors. Is last game of season though, is it not? How will I survive till Super 12 season?
• Oh, yes. Cricket. The ODI's start soon. Yay. If we do not win ONE, I will make empty threats about not supporting the Black Caps anymore.
• Other sport: Is there other sport? I'm so bisportive. [that's not a word. never mind.] two track mind. something like that.

Well, that is that. Does your knowledge feel enhanced? No?

That does not surprise me. Have a lovely day.

ps. Aaron Mauger's birthday's the day after mine. Random information for you. Except of course he is four years older. Now I feel compelled to go see if I can find anyone who DOES share my birthday [mission of my life. So far I have found Matt Cameron. Yay for Pearl Jam. and Soundgarden.]

tvnz amuses me.
or: so i like all blacks. sue me.

well, as i am a little obsessive compulsive and have a mad fanaticism for things, or more because i wanted to find out which all black almost lost his shorts in the game against france on saturday [ it was chris jack. see xtramsn, the rugby section. mary laughs. and is repulsed.]
, so i went travelling to tvnz.co.nz, popped into the sports section and thence into the all blacks section. [now i am off to the cricket. although it makes me cry at the moment. ].
anyway.
in the all blacks section, there is a photo gallery. and in the photo gallery there are pictures captioned, for example:

Saimone Taumoepeau is caught having a nap at training:


it makes me laugh.

Fuck you, blogger.

Well, I wrote a giant post and it fucked up.
What it boiled down to was:

• Friday I checked my grades and had a Q for Math114.
• I was very upset.
• Then I thought it was unfair, so I queried it.
• I spent the entire weekend, including my birthday, being very upset.
• This wasn't helped by the fact that my family didn't seem to want to talk to me. Except Tim, but he rang while the rugby was on.
• Of course, they didn't know I was upset, cos I wasn't saying anything about the Q.
• Got an email back today from maths coordinator saying "Oops, we forgot to enter your exam grade, so we thought you hadn't sat it. You actually have a B+."
• So I am greatly relieved.

Now will you post, you bastard thing?

Conversations G-Money and Steff had on the way home from Waihi:

• What a fucking retard G-Money's retarded friend is.
• The Queen's sex-life.
• What the Queen sounds like when she's having an orgasm.
• Where the fuck G-Money's retarded friend is going.
• What a fucking retard G-Money's retarded friend is.
• Mary's unique way with words. Penisness?
• Ways to escape G-Money's retarded friend.
• What a fucking retard G-Money's retarded friend is.

Sorry. Am feeling very animositical. If that's a word.

And then I got home and Dad had just found out that his good friend just died. Like, an hour ago. Which really sucks, cos he was lovely. And also obese with a dodgy heart, which is probably why he died.

So yes, I've had an interesting evening.

My goodness I strongly dislike G-Money's retarded friend. Arrogant little penis.